dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
