Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm at about main and main street
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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