Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
