So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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