another moral hangover. fuck.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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