I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
