I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize