he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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