youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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