Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
