Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
