You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
