Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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