Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So vagazzling was a success
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
