You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Randomize
