But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
