Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We are two peas in an std pod
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
