so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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