just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
