Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
