I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air