I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's