Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.

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(323): I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom. http://tfl.nu/rbnh

Replies (120) Good night (1705) Bad night (45846)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.

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(479): She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink. http://tfl.nu/g05p

Replies (90) Good night (2561) Bad night (4044)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".

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(401): My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets". http://tfl.nu/hqdk

Replies (15) Good night (8710) Bad night (1230)
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(562): View more from California

I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

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(562): I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day. http://tfl.nu/v32p

Replies (10) Good night (1183) Bad night (4589)
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(240): View more from Maryland

He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.

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(240): He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter. http://tfl.nu/87g5

Replies (53) Good night (2088) Bad night (13982)
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(305): View more from Florida

you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store

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(305): you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store http://tfl.nu/0ult

Replies (25) Good night (4857) Bad night (1222)
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(217): View more from Illinois

who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?

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(217): who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo? http://tfl.nu/900o

Replies (4) Good night (2294) Bad night (899)
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(219): View more from Indiana

about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?

(219): View more from Indiana

yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?

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(219): about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town? (219): yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes? http://tfl.nu/jl45

Replies (5) Good night (2380) Bad night (739)
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(985): View more from Louisiana

He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.

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(985): He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period. http://tfl.nu/gmxu

Replies (10) Good night (3111) Bad night (1318)
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(614): View more from Ohio

The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?

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(614): The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/yci0

Replies (16) Good night (3919) Bad night (614)
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(442): View more from California

Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.

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(442): Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always. http://tfl.nu/0ay8

Replies (5) Good night (560) Bad night (1280)
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(925): View more from California

A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.

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(925): A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas. http://tfl.nu/wou7

Replies (4) Good night (819) Bad night (375)
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(850): View more from Florida

So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up

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(850): So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up http://tfl.nu/mg00

Replies (3) Good night (247) Bad night (617)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"

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(616): I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower" http://tfl.nu/rsrj

Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (269)
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(703): View more from Virginia

You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.

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(703): You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/3xuk

Replies (0) Good night (837) Bad night (304)

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