Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
being pregnant is like rehab
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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