Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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