i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
