Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
