apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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