I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
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I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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