six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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