we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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