But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
