hotel room ftw
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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