I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
