The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How naked do you want me to be?
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