I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Rumble strips road head = magical
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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