I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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