Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
