Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
