I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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