I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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