i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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