tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
