Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
