How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Randomize
