im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Randomize
