I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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