yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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