Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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