You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
