last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
