garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
