we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
