If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
