Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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