This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Randomize
