I met the friendliest cop last night
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
