pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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