and i looked up. we had an audience...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
