4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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