No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
