Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she smelled like a LAN party
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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