quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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