I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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