You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
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