he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize