I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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